Last post was nearly two years ago and a lot has changed since then.
What you ask?
First...a new job. Yes, a new job. This job is in town. No more long distance traveling. No more abuse on the car. No more waking up super early to prepare for my commute. I am teaching at Muskogee High
This position is nearly the same one I left at Tulsa. I'm teaching SpEd. I'm teaching math and I'm not teaching freshman (haha). When the 2017-18 school year ended, I didn't have any plans to switch jobs. I applied on a suggestion from a friend and literally two weeks later, was put for the board to recommend to hire. It was a whirlwind I was and wasn't prepared for, but in all honesty, God knew what He was doing. I just wasn't prepared for how.
Second...Well, the second circumstance I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about on the public air waves. I don't know that I will ever be comfortable putting it on here, but who knows, maybe later I will. It's been challenging for me and my family and I'll just leave it as that.
Third....I don't know what to put in here as third, but it sounded good at the time.
I keep forgetting how therapeutic this is. Writing down my feelings. There's just something about getting it out there. Maybe so I can see it. I don't know. I just hope I keep up with this. Today, it was well needed.
Friday, November 23, 2018
Friday, January 20, 2017
New adventure
In this sense, I'm becoming a bandwagoner, but in a good way.
I have been researching and studying the process of Whole 30. I would sorta consider this the new "fad" diet. The popularity has exploded. Without going through EVERYTHING in detail, the gist of it is to eat foods that are good and nutritious for you. This means limiting some things. No dairy, no sugar (fake or real), and some other things.
For me, it seems overwhelming. The more I look into it and the more I research it the more I realize that it really isn't so. It's all about the mindset, the willpower, and the determination to do it.
God didn't intend for our body to be abused by eating junk and stuff that isn't good for you. In this, the majority of the diet consists of lots and lots of protein, veggies, fruits and good fats and carbs.
I'm bound and determined to change my ways. I need to get healthier. I need to lose some weight and I know I can't do this all on my own. God help me.
I had previously set a date to start this on Jan 29th. I forgot that I had a big test that I needed to take that week, so I am setting it on my calendar to start the next week. Feb 5th. Until then, I'm going to take conscious strides to start eliminating things that I know I can't have. Starting with the sugar.
The sugar is my weakness. I've had a bad sweet tooth for far too long and I know that will be my demise if I don't get it under control now.
Anyway, I think this post is really scattered. All of them normally are. However, this is my posting to say that I am doing this. I will do this. I will succeed...one day at a time...
Friday, January 13, 2017
New year...new me?
So, 2017...what's new?
2016 wasn't ideal. Jobs ended..jobs started..new turn in life...
What's new in 2017?
I have a new commitment to things.
I am going to make life more joyful.
I'm going to make strides to have the best year yet.
I will be turning 30 this year.
This year will be great!!
Saturday, May 14, 2016
It has been way too long
I keep thinking to myself that one day I will actually update this thing. I keep thinking...and thinking...and thinking...
That's about as far as it goes.
It's been about 9 months. Two semesters. Many up's and down's and really just too much to put on paper.
I'm in between semesters at the moment and have a few weeks to collect my thoughts and get ready for summer term. I hope and pray it will be less stressful and more fun. It will be a welcomed break even though I will be teaching. After that semester, I'll be jumping right in to a very crazy fall semester. I'm not ready yet so I'm going to keep praying that summer takes its sweet time finishing. I don't want it to start because I don't want it to end.
That's about as far as it goes.
It's been about 9 months. Two semesters. Many up's and down's and really just too much to put on paper.
I'm in between semesters at the moment and have a few weeks to collect my thoughts and get ready for summer term. I hope and pray it will be less stressful and more fun. It will be a welcomed break even though I will be teaching. After that semester, I'll be jumping right in to a very crazy fall semester. I'm not ready yet so I'm going to keep praying that summer takes its sweet time finishing. I don't want it to start because I don't want it to end.
Thursday, August 27, 2015
It's been awhile...
It's been nearly 4 months to be exact and there has been SO much that has been happening.
I got a letter saying that my job was in jeopardy, I got a letter saying that I was going to be able to keep my job. We got word that our campus was getting a budget cut and we've had major changes in our schedule and the way we are teaching. Needless to say, it has been one wild and crazy four months.
To start off, Spring semester came and went and so did Summer semester. I didn't think I would ever catch myself saying this, but it seems the older I get, the faster time flies.
Let's back up to right before spring semester ended. The last blog I posted was about how much the devil was attacking in emotions and it continued after that. This time, my emotions were centered on my newly made schedule for the summer and fall. Just before that, I got a letter in the mail saying that my job was in jeopardy. The college was forced to have a budget cut because the state didn't have the same amount of money going to the schools. Being a single income person and not having a significant other, that was a scary time for me. Not too much longer after that, I heard that I was going to keep my job, so that was one stress that was off of my plate. I spent many days on my knees praying that God would allow me to keep my job and he did. I just had to wait.
As far as my summer schedule went, I knew that I was going to lose my Wednesday night church services as I had every summer that I taught. What really hung me up was the fact that I was also going to lose them for the fall. I wasn't prepared for that and it hit me like a ton of bricks.
Twenty four services being out of church. Nearly half a year. That made me upset.
After having a big cry about it, I finally accepted the fact that it was going to happen and I had to deal with it. I prayed and just kept close to God as the schedule I had wasn't going to change...or so I thought.
In the process of the change of budget, the decision to change our math department became a priority. My boss decided to take away Basic Math and revamp Elementary Algebra to compensate. In my schedule, that meant I ended up with a 6pm-8:30pm break. So, on Wednesdays, I got my church schedule back. I was happy about that, Blessings in disguise.
Summer semester came and went and now I'm in Fall. I LOVE my schedule and it's really not too crazy. I am not fond of being up and teaching at 8am on Tuesday and Thursday, but the fact that I am teaching one of my favorite classes really helps.
I need to decompress more often. THis is helpful.
I got a letter saying that my job was in jeopardy, I got a letter saying that I was going to be able to keep my job. We got word that our campus was getting a budget cut and we've had major changes in our schedule and the way we are teaching. Needless to say, it has been one wild and crazy four months.
To start off, Spring semester came and went and so did Summer semester. I didn't think I would ever catch myself saying this, but it seems the older I get, the faster time flies.
Let's back up to right before spring semester ended. The last blog I posted was about how much the devil was attacking in emotions and it continued after that. This time, my emotions were centered on my newly made schedule for the summer and fall. Just before that, I got a letter in the mail saying that my job was in jeopardy. The college was forced to have a budget cut because the state didn't have the same amount of money going to the schools. Being a single income person and not having a significant other, that was a scary time for me. Not too much longer after that, I heard that I was going to keep my job, so that was one stress that was off of my plate. I spent many days on my knees praying that God would allow me to keep my job and he did. I just had to wait.
As far as my summer schedule went, I knew that I was going to lose my Wednesday night church services as I had every summer that I taught. What really hung me up was the fact that I was also going to lose them for the fall. I wasn't prepared for that and it hit me like a ton of bricks.
Twenty four services being out of church. Nearly half a year. That made me upset.
After having a big cry about it, I finally accepted the fact that it was going to happen and I had to deal with it. I prayed and just kept close to God as the schedule I had wasn't going to change...or so I thought.
In the process of the change of budget, the decision to change our math department became a priority. My boss decided to take away Basic Math and revamp Elementary Algebra to compensate. In my schedule, that meant I ended up with a 6pm-8:30pm break. So, on Wednesdays, I got my church schedule back. I was happy about that, Blessings in disguise.
Summer semester came and went and now I'm in Fall. I LOVE my schedule and it's really not too crazy. I am not fond of being up and teaching at 8am on Tuesday and Thursday, but the fact that I am teaching one of my favorite classes really helps.
I need to decompress more often. THis is helpful.
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
God's Got This
In the last month I have seen just how quickly and easily a life can be taken from this world. And I've also seen that it doesn't matter how old you are. It's led me to say this, you definitely need to be ready and need to be secure in your salvation.You never know when your time is up.
I don't know if there is any coincidence to the people who have passed on. I've known all of them and they are connected by the school I grew up in as a kid. Warner.... these people were either someone I went to school with, or connected to someone I went to school with.
The first person who passed was an older brother of one of my classmates. His death was a mere accident and something no one would have predicted would happen. He was in his 30's. Too young. I look at myself being 27 and understanding that 30 isn't too far off.
The second death was the mother of someone I went to school with and a classmate of my younger brother and sister. I do not know the circumstances of her passing, but she was too young. Only in her 50's
My mom texted me and said that another person I knew passed away. She said that he came home, told his grandma he had a sore throat and 2 hours later was dead. He was only in his 20's Also a classmate of one of my brothers.
Then the last and most recent death was of a person who had been battling cancer for a year. Even though his passing was somewhat expected, it still doesn't make it any easier. He was only in his 20's as well.
This all has happened in the last few weeks.
Something my pastor said triggered a thought. Before he went on vacation he said that the devil is attacking. We have had numerous salvations for Christ and baptisms in the last few weeks that the devil doesn't like it. Now, your interpretation of these things might be different than mine and that's okay. Death is an emotional attack. We mourn, we grieve, and want our loved ones back. So much so that some really don't get over the death. This could lead people (and this is the pot calling the kettle black) to staying in a funk like that for awhile. Steering the mind and body away from Christ. And the devil winning.
I've been guilty. I gave in to the emotions the last few days and instead of giving it to God, I took it for myself. Now I know, time and time again, that I am not big enough to deal with it all. I know that I cannot deal with a lot of stress. I have figured that out the hard way. I also know that my God is pretty big. He's got big hands and he's got the whole world but also my problems ready to take care of always. I'm just bad at being selfish. I want to have control.
Never once did we ever walk alone. Never once did you leave us on our own. You are faithful God you are faithful. God, you have this in your hands. You know my path and you know what's going to happen. God guide my steps and ease my fears. God help me to know that things will be okay and you have everything under your control. Be with me and help me to not take control of what you have. In your name....Amen
Now to get out of my funk...
I don't know if there is any coincidence to the people who have passed on. I've known all of them and they are connected by the school I grew up in as a kid. Warner.... these people were either someone I went to school with, or connected to someone I went to school with.
The first person who passed was an older brother of one of my classmates. His death was a mere accident and something no one would have predicted would happen. He was in his 30's. Too young. I look at myself being 27 and understanding that 30 isn't too far off.
The second death was the mother of someone I went to school with and a classmate of my younger brother and sister. I do not know the circumstances of her passing, but she was too young. Only in her 50's
My mom texted me and said that another person I knew passed away. She said that he came home, told his grandma he had a sore throat and 2 hours later was dead. He was only in his 20's Also a classmate of one of my brothers.
Then the last and most recent death was of a person who had been battling cancer for a year. Even though his passing was somewhat expected, it still doesn't make it any easier. He was only in his 20's as well.
This all has happened in the last few weeks.
Something my pastor said triggered a thought. Before he went on vacation he said that the devil is attacking. We have had numerous salvations for Christ and baptisms in the last few weeks that the devil doesn't like it. Now, your interpretation of these things might be different than mine and that's okay. Death is an emotional attack. We mourn, we grieve, and want our loved ones back. So much so that some really don't get over the death. This could lead people (and this is the pot calling the kettle black) to staying in a funk like that for awhile. Steering the mind and body away from Christ. And the devil winning.
I've been guilty. I gave in to the emotions the last few days and instead of giving it to God, I took it for myself. Now I know, time and time again, that I am not big enough to deal with it all. I know that I cannot deal with a lot of stress. I have figured that out the hard way. I also know that my God is pretty big. He's got big hands and he's got the whole world but also my problems ready to take care of always. I'm just bad at being selfish. I want to have control.
Never once did we ever walk alone. Never once did you leave us on our own. You are faithful God you are faithful. God, you have this in your hands. You know my path and you know what's going to happen. God guide my steps and ease my fears. God help me to know that things will be okay and you have everything under your control. Be with me and help me to not take control of what you have. In your name....Amen
Now to get out of my funk...
Monday, April 6, 2015
Time to unwind
I can't even begin to describe in words just how brutally exhausting but absolutely amazing the last week has been. It was a bittersweet moment to see it all end last night, but it was also great to know that this play touched so many people.
Rewind a few months.....
Just after Christmas, Ali, our music director, and Stephanie, our choir director came together with a vision Ali had of a play for Easter. Steph had been telling us a little bit about it and that the choir would have a role in it. Regardless, I was going to have some part in the play. Auditions came not too long after the announcement that we were going to have a play and God just nudged me to try out.
Now, if you know me, I don't like to be the center of attention. I am goofy and silly, but I don't want to stand out. I like to be in the background so everyone else can shine. I knew this was a big, scary step for me, but I did it anyway. I tried out, said a line, sang a song, and believe it or not, I got a part.
I got the part of Gabriel and a small solo.
Gabriel's part was only three lines and then the solo picked was a song the choir has done many times before so it was familiar.
Going into this, I didn't know just how much it would change me.
Jump back to last week....
We finally hit full play rehearsals from start to finish. Stress overload....remembering lines...remembering places...trying not to bite heads off of people.... We had 70ish people all together working on one goal: to honor God and touch the hearts of everyone with the story of Jesus.
As we were doing dress rehearsals, I think the whole story, the whole impact, the whole message hit me like a ton of bricks. I don't think I held back any tears as we ran through the scenes.
I'm such a visual learner. I understand more when I can see and relate to things. As we went through the play the times before opening night and even Saturday and Sunday night, I put myself in those scenes. Seeing and hearing Jesus (Clay) acting the part as if he too were being crucified sent overwhelming emotions through me. I could not stop the tears.
For me, this play changed me. I'm certain I'm not alone by saying that either. I know others in our cast, crew, and congregation that will be forever changed. It put into perspective the pain, suffering, torment, and torture my Jesus went through to save me.
While we were still sinners, Christ died for us--Romans 5:8
Thank you Christ for the ultimate sacrifice.
Rewind a few months.....
Just after Christmas, Ali, our music director, and Stephanie, our choir director came together with a vision Ali had of a play for Easter. Steph had been telling us a little bit about it and that the choir would have a role in it. Regardless, I was going to have some part in the play. Auditions came not too long after the announcement that we were going to have a play and God just nudged me to try out.
Now, if you know me, I don't like to be the center of attention. I am goofy and silly, but I don't want to stand out. I like to be in the background so everyone else can shine. I knew this was a big, scary step for me, but I did it anyway. I tried out, said a line, sang a song, and believe it or not, I got a part.
I got the part of Gabriel and a small solo.
Gabriel's part was only three lines and then the solo picked was a song the choir has done many times before so it was familiar.
Going into this, I didn't know just how much it would change me.
Jump back to last week....
We finally hit full play rehearsals from start to finish. Stress overload....remembering lines...remembering places...trying not to bite heads off of people.... We had 70ish people all together working on one goal: to honor God and touch the hearts of everyone with the story of Jesus.
As we were doing dress rehearsals, I think the whole story, the whole impact, the whole message hit me like a ton of bricks. I don't think I held back any tears as we ran through the scenes.
I'm such a visual learner. I understand more when I can see and relate to things. As we went through the play the times before opening night and even Saturday and Sunday night, I put myself in those scenes. Seeing and hearing Jesus (Clay) acting the part as if he too were being crucified sent overwhelming emotions through me. I could not stop the tears.
For me, this play changed me. I'm certain I'm not alone by saying that either. I know others in our cast, crew, and congregation that will be forever changed. It put into perspective the pain, suffering, torment, and torture my Jesus went through to save me.
While we were still sinners, Christ died for us--Romans 5:8
Thank you Christ for the ultimate sacrifice.
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