God's Got This

In the last month I have seen just how quickly and easily a life can be taken from this world. And I've also seen that it doesn't matter how old you are. It's led me to say this, you definitely need to be ready and need to be secure in your salvation.You never know when your time is up.

I don't know if there is any coincidence to the people who have passed on. I've known all of them and they are connected by the school I grew up in as a kid. Warner.... these people were either someone I went to school with, or connected to someone I went to school with.

The first person who passed was an older brother of one of my classmates. His death was a mere accident and something no one would have predicted would happen. He was in his 30's. Too young. I look at myself being 27 and understanding that 30 isn't too far off.

The second death was the mother of someone I went to school with and a classmate of my younger brother and sister. I do not know the circumstances of her passing, but she was too young. Only in her 50's

My mom texted me and said that another person I knew passed away. She said that he came home, told his grandma he had a sore throat and 2 hours later was dead. He was only in his 20's Also a classmate of one of my brothers.

Then the last and most recent death was of a person who had been battling cancer for a year. Even though his passing was somewhat expected, it still doesn't make it any easier. He was only in his 20's as well.

This all has happened in the last few weeks.

Something my pastor said triggered a thought. Before he went on vacation he said that the devil is attacking. We have had numerous salvations for Christ and baptisms in the last few weeks that the devil doesn't like it. Now, your interpretation of these things might be different than mine and that's okay. Death is an emotional attack. We mourn, we grieve, and want our loved ones back. So much so that some really don't get over the death. This could lead people (and this is the pot calling the kettle black) to staying in a funk like that for awhile. Steering the mind and body away from Christ. And the devil winning.

I've been guilty. I gave in to the emotions the last few days and instead of giving it to God, I took it for myself. Now I know, time and time again, that I am not big enough to deal with it all. I know that I cannot deal with a lot of stress. I have figured that out the hard way. I also know that my God is pretty big. He's got big hands and he's got the whole world but also my problems ready to take care of always. I'm just bad at being selfish. I want to have control.

Never once did we ever walk alone. Never once did you leave us on our own. You are faithful God you are faithful. God, you have this in your hands. You know my path and you know what's going to happen. God guide my steps and ease my fears. God help me to know that things will be okay and you have everything under your control. Be with me and help me to not take control of what you have. In your name....Amen

Now to get out of my funk...

Time to unwind

I can't even begin to describe in words just how brutally exhausting but absolutely amazing the last week has been. It was a bittersweet moment to see it all end last night, but it was also great to know that this play touched so many people.

Rewind a few months.....

Just after Christmas, Ali, our music director, and Stephanie, our choir director came together with a vision Ali had of a play for Easter. Steph had been telling us a little bit about it and that the choir would have a role in it. Regardless, I was going to have some part in the play. Auditions came not too long after the announcement that we were going to have a play and God just nudged me to try out.
Now, if you know me, I don't like to be the center of attention. I am goofy and silly, but I don't want to stand out. I like to be in the background so everyone else can shine. I knew this was a big, scary step for me, but I did it anyway. I tried out, said a line, sang a song, and believe it or not, I got a part.
I got the part of Gabriel and a small solo.

Gabriel's part was only three lines and then the solo picked was a song the choir has done many times before so it was familiar.

Going into this, I didn't know just how much it would change me.

Jump back to last week....

We finally hit full play rehearsals from start to finish. Stress overload....remembering lines...remembering places...trying not to bite heads off of people.... We had 70ish people all together working on one goal: to honor God and touch the hearts of everyone with the story of Jesus.
 As we were doing dress rehearsals, I think the whole story, the whole impact, the whole message hit me like a ton of bricks. I don't think I held back any tears as we ran through the scenes.

I'm such a visual learner. I understand more when I can see and relate to things. As we went through the play the times before opening night and even Saturday and Sunday night, I put myself in those scenes. Seeing and hearing Jesus (Clay) acting the part as if he too were being crucified sent overwhelming emotions through me. I could not stop the tears.

For me, this play changed me. I'm certain I'm not alone by saying that either. I know others in our cast, crew, and congregation that will be forever changed.  It put into perspective the pain, suffering, torment, and torture my Jesus went through to save me.

While we were still sinners, Christ died for us--Romans 5:8

Thank you Christ for the ultimate sacrifice.